DovBear argues in favor of women's aliyot

See his "Why the Meron pilgrimage [*] is an argument in favor of calling women for aliyot."

DB's argument in favor of women's aliyot*:

"My question to those who would berate women for attempting to find spiritual fulfilment the only way they know how -by copying the only things they see - is this: How do you justify yourselves? If Meron (and countless other rituals and observances) could be taken from other cultures and added for the sake of pleasing men, what is the justification for continuing to frustrate women?"

Yehudi Hilchati, who agrees with DB, plays devil's advocate, and makes the most reasonable case for opponents of aliyot that I, a hard-core egalitarian, can think of:

I agree totally that women should have expanded ritual roles in tefilla [prayer] and kriat hatorah [[reading from a scroll of the biblical Five Books of Moses (Hebrew)]. But your analogy is not a great one.

The minhag [custom] of going to Meron on Lag BaOmer is just that - a minhag. Those who go don't claim it's halacha [Jewish religious law]. While I think that women's laining [reading from a scroll of the biblical Five Books of Moses (Yiddish)] is not assur [forbidden] today, there have been numerous halachic objections over the centuries that have great force in certain communities and things aren't going to change overnight.

Furthermore, those who don't go to Meron don't have to see the people who do. [Bolding added.] It's something that some people do but doesn't become a issue for most of klal yisrael [the community of Israel/The Jewish People]. Out of sight, out of mind.

Yehudi Hilchati Homepage 05.22.08 - 1:45 pm #


*Explanation of the "Meron pilgrimage" mentioned in DB's post.)

*"Aliyah," plural "aliyot" (from here):
Aliyah – Literally means “to go up”. Used when referring to when someone emigrates to Israel, or when someone is called up to read or say a blessing on the torah. Also when someone passes away, we say their neshama/soul goes “up” to shamayim/gan eden/heaven.)

Casualty of conversion war: Druckman fired

Yes, I know I’ve linked to this opinion piece before (thanks, Steg!), but, for those who are new to, or don’t understand, the whole conversion controversy and Rabbi Druckman’s role therein—he’s one of the good guys, in my opinion—start here.

The latest news, courtesy of Rabbi Dr. Jeffrey Woolf of My Obiter Dicta, is that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, in yet another move to salvage his scandal-ridden political career, has chosen Rabbi Druckman as the latest sacrificial offering.

I am left speechless. The only response that comes to my mind is “Hashivah shofténu k’va-rishonah, v’yoatzénu k’va-t’chilah, restore our judges as at first, and our counselors as in the beginning … Baruch . . .Melech ohev tzedakah u’mishpat, Praised is . . . the Sovereign who loves righteousness and justice."

Not to mention “. . . al géré ha-tzedek . . yehemu rachamecha, upon the righteous converts, show (?) mercy . . .”

My previous posts on the conversion war:

• Frum vs. frum: The conversion crisis that affects all
• The war against Modern & Zionist Orthodoxy
• The conversion war: A conflict of values
• Jew by Choice discusses conversion controversy

NYC Jewish Music list revived;L.B.concerts tonight!

Gili Houpt, now a first-time father of twins living in New Jersey, has turned over the NYC Jewish Music list to artist Yisroel Juskowicz, who hopes to add Jewish art exhibitions to the announcements.

"To submit an event, the event MUST be Jewish in content and taking place in the NY/NJ area. You MUST include the name of the performer who is playing, when and where the event is taking place, the cost of the event, and the contact info. You can submit the info to my email address yisroelj@hotmail.com.

. . .

To be added to this group, send email to:
NYCJewishMusic-subscribe@yahoogroups.com"

Tonight's Lag B'Omer (here's an explanation that you can take as literally--or not--as you wish) concert list, copied from his e-mail received today:

------ Thursday May 22nd

9:00 PM Eitan Katz will be performing together with Nochi Krohn at
Aish Kodesh in Woodmere 894 Woodmere Place Woodmere, NY 11598. For
more info www.aishkodesh.

org

8:00 PM
8th Annual Lag Ba'omer Bonfire
Willow Tree Park, Wesley Hills, NY
Music by C. Lanzbaum and Noah Solomon (Soulfarm)
Bring a chair or blanket, a flashlight and marshmallows.
Questions or directions please contact DaveBarg@gmail.com

8:15pm
Bonfire and music at the home of the Rothenbergs, 370 Pennington Ave (backyard), Passaic, NJ.
Come celebrate the hilulla of Rav Shimon bar Yochai and experience the joy and light of Lag B'Omer! Enter a new appreciation for this special day with sweet divrei Torah, stories from our tzaddikim, and music from shamayim. With Rabbi Eliezer and Rebbetzin Malka Garner.
For more information: 973-773-8286
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/carlebachpassaic/

Women only: ages 18 and up, you are invited to Ohr Naava's LAG BA'
OMER LUAU at
Leon Kaiser Park/Beach http://www.nycgovparks.org/parks/kaiserparkin
Brooklyn, NY this Thursday night at 6. BBQ, Hula Hoops, Music and fun!
BE THERE! For more innfo, contact Onit Brodsky onityaakova@gmail.com

8:00pm, 'NYC's newest Jewish power trio'
Rashanim + renowned saxophonist Greg Wall continues their monthly
residency at the Stanton Street Shul on
New York's Lower East Side. 180 Stanton St. New York, NY 10002
7:30pm doors 8:00pm concert for more info www.rashanim.com

Location, location, location :( (bumped)

My e-mail to a clothing company:
Your woman's windbreaker must surely have been designed by a man. Only a man could have designed a woman's jacket with the cell phone pocket placed directly over the breast. Ouch. Literally.

Update: This was originally a Monday, May 19, 2008, 10:09 PM post, but the comments keep getting better, so I'm bumping it up. I recommend comment #5 for your amusement.

Jew by Choice discusses conversion controversy

This is a must-read.

In a nutshell:

"Geirim [converts] everywhere are questioning their Jewishness and what ramifications the new standards will have down the line. Will the individual convert’s rabbi still be on the list in twenty years? Will these converts ever be accepted as Jews? Or will they remain permanent outsiders, their Jewish identity always in question?"

The conversion war: A conflict of values

See part one here.

According to one school of thought, one should convert a person to Judaism only if that person is a true believer and is willing to accept and observe all of the mitzvot (commandments).

According to other perspectives, other factors may enter into the equation. Is preserving the Jewish people so important that it's preferable to convert a person and hope that that person will be observant than to stand by while a Jew marries a non-Jew? Is maintaining the Jewish character of the Jewish State so important that it's preferable to convert a half-Jew, there being so many ex-Soviet Israeli citizens with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers (a person's religious identity being defined, according to halachah/Jewish religious law, by the religion of the mother), and hope that that person will be observant, than to stand by while the Jewish character of the State of Israel becomes questionable?

The previous paragraph may have been a bit simplistic. After all, we do want conversion to have some meaning. But what "entrance requirements" should the Jewish People enforce? What are our priorities? I think that's the real question behind the current conversion crisis.

If the answers aren't easy for those of us who are laypersons, imagine how difficult they are for those actually entrusted with performing conversions. But I would like to think that more Orthodox rabbis and rabbinical students are, at least, asking questions like this one.

The war against Modern & Zionist Orthodoxy

I'm linking to a definition of aguna because my readers won't be able to understand this post without understanding the problem that it describes.

If there's one thing I've learned from blogging, it's not to tar any entire group. I'm operating on the assumption that not even all the chareidim (fervently Orthodox Jews, both chassidic and non-chassidic) agree with the recent ruling by chareidi rabbis invalidating thousands of conversions performed by an Israeli Orthodox rabbi of the Dati LeUmi (Religious Zionist) camp. I don't see much choice, however, but to agree that those who promulgated this ruling and those who agree with it are engaged in an active attempt to discredit all Dati LeUmi rabbis (and, by extensive, all non-chareidi rabbis worldwide), regardless of how much suffering they cause to those affected by their ruling(s).

See also Frum vs. Frum, and, while you're at it, my next post.

Close encounter of the tuneful kind

A bird took off right in front of me
and perched on a very low branch of a tree,
then burst into song just a foot above my head
"I want a mate!," that songbird said

(This is the closest I've ever been to a wild bird in song. I got quite a kick out of it.)

Written April 28, 2008, shortly after this post.)

Eek! Computer search “outs” me as a blogger

Well, here’s a first: Last Thursday, at Israeli folk dancing,* Basya’s mother told me that her daughter’s ex-boyfriend had spotted the afore-linked post and had e-mailed it to Basya, who had, in turn, forwarded it to her mom, telling her that she’s now famous, too. :) Much as I enjoy the thought of helping to make someone else famous :), I’m a bit unnerved, as a blogger who must remain anonymous in order to continue blogging without getting into trouble with folks from my neighborhood—this is the first time that someone from real life whom I didn’t tell about my blog has found out about it from someone whom I don't even know.

(*Re my approach to folk dancing during Sefirah, see here. I have to admit that I haven't been very good about not free-styling, solo, in a corner during the livelier couples dances.)

Positive & negative,etc.:Jewish women's observance

One of my Orthodox co-workers and I were discussing Sefirah. I said that I was a bit ambivalent about the Sefirah restrictions on permissible activities (no haircuts, no live music, etc.--there are a variety of customs and interpretations) because these restrictions just don't make sense: Why are there 33 days of mourning for the plague among Rabbi Akiva's students, but only one day (Tisha B'Av) for the destruction of the Temple (churban Bet HaMikdash) and only one day (Yom HaShoa) for the 6,000,000 dead in the Holocaust (for those who advocate a day other than Tisha B'Av)? She made it clear that she observes all the restrictions, but doesn't count the Omer.

Another Orthodox co-worker, one of the Women’s Tehillim (Psalms) Group attendees, told me recently that she’d already said the psalms for the day, just in case she wasn’t able to attend the Tehillim group. I commented that I was having a tough time learning how to focus while praying Maariv (Arvit, Evening Service) on the subway (which I’ve taken to doing after folk dancing because I always get home so late). A different Orthodox co-worker had recently mentioned to me that many women don't say Maariv at all (it being a service the obligatory nature of which is debatable, since it doesn't replace any of the daily sacrifices made in the long-destroyed Temple in Jerusalem, but Orthodox and observant Conservative men have all accepted it as obligatory).

I find it interesting that my priorities seem to be different from those of some (many?) women within the Orthodox community. For openers, from what little I’ve heard, there seems to be more emphasis on avoiding the forbidden (that is, obeying the negative commandments) than on doing the permitted and/or required (that is, obeying the positive commandments). Or perhaps it’s just that davvening (praying) is central to my particular way of observing Judaism, whereas there’s a question how much prayer, if any, and what kind of prayer is required of women. Some in the Orthodox community say that women are required to pray three times a day, just as men are, but not necessarily at specified times; some say that women are required to pray once a day; some say that any petition to HaShem (which, I guess, would include a psalm) fulfills a women’s daily prayer obligation.

I am reminded of a discussion I had with yet another Orthodox co-worker a few years ago. I mentioned to her, with some pride, that I'd finally learned to say the short (not the longer Monday and Thursday) Tachanun. Instead of congratulating me on my learning, she sniffed, "Women don't say Tachanun."

So how’s this for odd: I davven more than many women in both the Conservative and Orthodox camps. And you wonder why I feel like a square peg in a round community. I suspect I'm not the only one who sees me as a square peg--I imagine I have something of a rep as an "odd duck." What can I say but "Quack?"

Reconsidering Sefirah observance (again)

Katrina’s as confused and conflicted about Sefirah observance as I am. Her buddy’s suggestion that one observe from after Rosh Chodesh Iyar until Lag B’Omer actually makes a certain amount of sense, though it doesn’t follow any currently-accepted minhag (custom), of which elf’s DH delineates five in his comment to Katrina’s post.

I’ve linked previously to this DovBear post concerning Sefirah, and I’m linking again, because I think it’s worth a look every year. (This bit of satire is really about Yom HaShoah, but it touches on Sefirah as well.)

Psalm 19: A “two-fer”

Read Psalm 19 carefully, and you’ll see what I mean when I say that it’s two for the price of one. The first half of the psalm is all about the wonders of HaShem’s creation, particularly the sun. (I dispute the translation of verse 7 shown in the link--I think "hu" refers back to the sun [mentioned in verse 5], not the bridegroom and/or runner [mentioned in verse 6], and should be translated "its," not "his.") Then, smack in the middle of the psalm, there’s a complete change of subject. What does “Torat HaShem t’mimah (the Law of HaShem is perfect)” have to do with the heavens declaring the glory of G-d?

Score another one in favor of the Documentary Hypothesis. In my opinion, this is yet another example of two texts having been cobbled together into one without any concern for the fact that the seam is showing.

That said, do read Psalm 19, and any other psalm that's to your liking. There are some real beauties in Sefer Tehillim/the Book of Psalms.

Frum vs.frum:The conversion crisis that affects all

Here’s an opinion piece about the recent Israeli rabbinical ruling declaring possibly thousands of Orthodox (Hebrew: Dati; Yiddish: Frum) conversions invalid. (Thanks to Steg for the link).

Harry Maryles warns, “Are you a convert to Judaism? Think again!"

Steg also links to Marc Shapiro’s New York Jewish Week article asking whether there’s going to be a schism in the Orthodox community—and indicating that it might be necessary.

Rabbis Marc Angel and Avi Weiss must be clairvoyant—they founded the new International Rabbinic Fellowship just last week. Actually, they seem to have been headed in that direction already, as this quote from the linked article indicates: "“Avi and Marc have come to feel increasingly disenfranchised,” one rabbi said, “and the conversion issue put them over the top."

ADDeRabbi, a former American now living in Modiin, said of the Israeli rabbinate, “I haven't discussed the current giyur [conversion] issue because I've been trying to get a copy of R' Sherman's psak din [roughly, ruling on a question of halachah/Jewish religious law]. In the meantime, I can't help but think that maybe THIS will be the crisis that finally precipitates a Religious-Zionist austritt." Methinks we'll be hearing more from the Israeli outreach rabbinical organization Tzohar as well--I can't remember where I read this, but I think there's been previous talk of Tzohar acting independently of the official state rabbinate.

This rabbinical ruling is frightening. As I said in my comments to a post of my own that’s almost two years old (sorry about the no-longer-functioning link in that post):

". . . if, as the ADDeRabbi asserts, the real issue is that a significant group of chareidi [fervently Orthodox] rabbis consider only chareidi rabbis to be real rabbis, then . . . it stands to reason that, if non-chareidi *rabbis* aren't consider to be real *rabbis,* then non-chareidi *Jews* aren't considered to be real *Jews.*

. . . Unless a reasonably solution is devised, a) non-chareidi conversions will not be recognized, b) non-chareidi "born" Jews will not be recognized, and c) non-Orthodox Jews, having no Orthodox, much less chareidi, rabbis to vouch for our Jewishness, will not be recognized. In the blink of an eye, the chareidi rabbinate of Israel will have written off as non-Jewish roughly 95% of American Jews."

Now, even those converted by Israeli Orthodox rabbis aren't "safe."

Don't say I didn't warn you that the rightward turn of Orthodox Judaism would affect all of us, Orthodox and non-Orthodox. At this point, I'm frankly hoping that there will, indeed, be a schism within the Orthodox community, both in Israel and elsewhere.

In case you think it's unmitigated chutzpah (gall) for a non-Orthodox Jew to hope for a schism within Orthodox Judaism, please remember that I have a personal stake in the outcome of the conversion crisis, as I said in a comment to that two-year-post of mine:

"Please excuse me for taking this personally, but the last person in my family to live and die Orthodox was my greatgrandmother, so our son has no Orthodox rabbi to vouch for his Jewishness. In addition, my Israeli nieces and nephew are the children of a Jew by choice. Her conversion was under the auspices of an American Orthodox rabbi. I fear that the fact that said [rabbi] was approved by the Israeli rabbinate *at that time* might not suffice to protect her children from being declared non-practicing Protestants.

My nightmare scenario #1: Within the next 15 years, my nieces and nephew are each, in turn, rejected for marriage by the Israeli rabbinate (their parents having made aliyah only weeks after the wedding). Each chooses to raise her/his kids as totally secular Israelis.

[Said Marc Shapiro in the aforementioned New York Jewish Week article, "I was struck by how, in his lengthy ruling attacking Rabbi Druckman’s conversions, the haredi [fervently Orthodox] dayan [judge] relies on the halachic [Jewish law] decisions of a well-known posek [decisor on matters of halachah/Jewish law] who serves the anti-Zionist Edah Haredit. In other words, the writings of one who believes that the creation of the State of Israel was a terrible sin — and who clearly has no sympathy with the goal of helping ease the conversion of sincere non-Jewish immigrants — is helping guide the decisions of a dayan who works for the Israeli government and is supposed to have the best interests of the State at heart."]

My nightmare scenario #2: My son's fiancee having decided, after very serious deliberation, to chose Judaism, they go to an Israeli-rabbinate-approved Orthodox rabbi to begin the process. Instead of addressing my son's fiancee, the rabbi grills my son about his Jewish identity, rejecting our ketubah [Jewish wedding contract] as proof. My son storms out, enraged, and our only grandchildren are raised Roman Catholic.

Result: In 20 years, there won't be a practicing Jew left in the family, and all of my parents' descendants will be (considered) Christian."

The most right-wing and anti-Zionist of the chareidim have rejected the rest of the Jewish People. Maybe it's time for the rest of the Jewish People to reject the most right-wing and anti-Zionist of the chareidim.

Zeh hayom asah HaShem, . . .

. . . nagilah v'nism'chah vo. This is the day HaShem made, let us rejoice and be glad on it." (Psalm 118, from Hallel).

What difference does it make whether I'm a literal believer or not? I thank HaShem on this Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel Independence Day, for M'dinat Yisrael, the State of Israel, whether HaShem gave it to the Jewish People or the Jewish People gave it to the Jewish People. It's a miracle, one way or the other. And just as I say the Hallel psalms with the brachah/blessings, skip the Tachanun prayer and La-m'natzeiach on Chanukah, so, too, I do on Yom HaAtzmaut.

Happy 60th Birthday, M'dinat Yisrael! I hope and pray that you will have many more for the entire Am Yisrael/Jewish People to celebrate.


Updates:

See some interesting disucssions on Hallel on Yom HaAtzmaut here (sorry I can't find the link to that specific post--keep scrolling down to the bottom of the page for the "Hallel on Yom Ha-Atzmaut post"[try this]), here, and here.

Not my favorite minhag (custom)

I learned as a child that it's customary to turn to face the sefer Torah (scroll of the Bible's Five Books of Moses) as it's being carried around the room at the beginning and end of Hotzaat HaTorah (roughly, the Torah service). I think it's unfortunate that, in some synagogues, it's also customary for congregants to shake the hands of those circling the room with the sefer Torah. Speaking of skewed priorities, I find that custom a bit disrespectful. Since the sefer Torah is always carried at the head of the procession, shaking the hands of those escorting it requires one to turn one's back to the Torah! It seems to me that the escort is being honored only secondarily--in my opinion, the primary function of those escorting the Torah is to serve as an honor guard for the Torah. One can always shake the hand of an escort after the Torah procession.

I won't turn my back on the sefer Torah to shake the hands of the people walking behind it (unless I know that the "escort" is a person who's likely to be insulted). As it says in the siddur (prayer book), ". . . t'nu chavod laTorah, . . . give honor to the Torah."

On the other hand, I'm occasionally guilty of using the Torah processional as an opportunity to talk to my neighbors in the surrounding seats, seventh-inning-stretch style. Perfect, I'm not.

Skewed priorities

The mother of the Bachur haBar Mitzvah, the Bar Mitzvah boy, shows up wearing a nice sports outfit consisting of a skirt and a matching print top and overblouse, with casual flats on her feet. Attempting the “dan l’chaf z’chut” (“judge everyone favorably”) approach, which is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I tell myself that she’s normally not much of a dresser and might actually think that what she’s wearing is a nice enough outfit, and that perhaps she’s having trouble with her feet. Imagine the shock that the few of us at daily morning minyan the next day experience when we see her walk in with her family for Bar Mitzvah photos dressed in a formal suit and two-inch heels. It was more important for her to dress up for the photo session than for her own son’s first aliyah?!

Top-heavy on the aliyot

Imagine trying to give out aliyot for this crowd: Seven Leviyim/Levites (yep, count 'em--seven!)--the rabbi, the cantor, the cantor's two sons, the cantor's brother, the president of the congregation, and the guy who's giving out the aliyot, the Chair of the Ritual Committee (also known as my husband). In theory, the Leviyim get only the first two aliyot, and that assumes that we don't get a surprise Cohen walking in and taking the first aliyah. The hubster is always on the look-out for non-Leviyim, who are, you may have gathered, in short supply in a congregation that can barely get eight men, total, for a Shabbat morning Torah reading. Much fun ensues. Oy.

Answering to a higher authority :(

The Feds have spoken.

Many colleges, including the college at which my husband teaches accounting, have long had policies allowing the admission of students with less-than-stellar academic records, on the assumption that a few developmental (read: remedial) courses will enable them to “catch up” academically and earn at least an associate’s degree. The United States federal (national) government recently put its foot down, insisting that colleges are permitted to accept only a certain maximum percentage of these students without losing federal financial aid to students. The result is that, with fewer of these students being admitted, the enrollment at my husband’s college has dropped. Therefore, fewer classes will be offered, and full-time faculty members such as my husband who have frequently been asked to teach—and offered extra pay for—more classes than the standard number required per semester will, in all likelihood, no longer be asked to teach extra classes. Bottom line: My husband expects a reduction in his semi-monthly net pay of approximately $375, almost certainly to take effect in September and possibly as early as July (depending on summer enrollment).

Ouch.

On the plus side, there’ll be less work for the hubster, not to mention less traveling—he’s been known to teach at three different campuses in two different boroughs of New York City in a single day. And I imagine that those subsisting on the current legal minimum wage might well be happy to see the difference between my husband’s base pay and “overload” pay added to their paltry earnings.

Still, we can’t deny that a $375 pay reduction will lighten our wallets considerably. The good times are over. :(

"Pizza party :)": My post-Pesach-week posts, 2008

Monday's "break-out-the-bread" blitz:

• Sefirat HaOmer: Why no brachah during the day?
• "Dagwood" sandwich generation: Re longevity
• Yaaleh V'Yavo: A prayer that moves, literally
• My response to Jack's "30-Something Grandmothers"
• If there's no buy-back, may we eat our sold chametz?

The rest of my "having-my-challah-and-eating-it-too" edition:

• Neither here nor there
• Shir HaShirim illustrates Orthodox divide re dating
• It's Greek to me (literally)

It’s Greek to me (literally)

On the subject of Shir HaShirim (Song of Songs) (again), before I forget (again), see chapter 3, verse 9: “Apiryon . . .” Say what?! Do my eyes and ears deceive me, or is that word just as much swiped from the Greek as “afikoman” and “gematria” (whose Greek root also gave us the English word “geometry”)?

Shir HaShirim illustrates Orthodox divide re dating

I almost forgot to post this thought that occurred to me during the reading of Shir HaShirim (the Song of Songs) in synagogue this past Saturday. (It's traditional to read Shir HaShirim in synagogue during Pesach/Passover.)

Note: I'm using the JPS translation.

Chapter 3, verses 2-3:

"' . . . I must seek the one I love.
I sought but found him not.
I met the watchmen
Who patrol the town.
'Have you seen the one I love?'"

This describes the Modern Orthodox and some of the more left-wing Centrists. Those seeking mates must seek them without much assistance. But there's not much interference, either, though there’s plenty of pressure to get married, I imagine.

Chapter 5, verses 6-7:

"I sought, but found him not;
I called, but he did not answer.
I met the watchmen
Who patrol the town;
They stuck me, they bruised me.
The guards of the walls
Stripped me of my mantle."

This describes the Yeshivish and Chareidi, and some of the more right-wing Centrists. It's "pas nisht"( it isn't done), among most folks in this segment of the Orthodox community, for a person to seek a mate independently. Everyone, male and female, must go through the shidduch (matchmaking) system. Every date must be "redt." I'm not sure of the exactly translation of that Yiddish word, but, I gather, judging by the way it's used, that it means "checked and approved as an appropriate person to date, meeting your requirements for a potential spouse." (Nobody in that world dates just for fun.) In that segment of the Orthodox community, it's considered scandalous for an individual to so much as speak to a person of the opposite sex who's not known to be a member of the speaker’s family, unless such a conversation is necessary. The watchmen/shadchanim (matchmakers) "patrol the town." (An extreme and irresponsible minority within the Chareidi community who, apparently, consider themselves “guards of the walls” between males and females, has even been known to strike women who have the unmitigated chutzpah/gall to sit in the wrong place on busses in some neighborhoods in Israel, stripping them of their mantles of dignity.)

I find it interesting that a poem written roughly 2,000 years ago so nicely illustrates certain aspects of the current Orthodox community.

Neither here nor there

. . . or, as they say in Yiddish, nishteh hér und nishteh hén.

Incident # 1:

Recently, I asked an old friend when her musician husband was giving another concert. She reminded me that he’d just given one that past Saturday night. I said that I would have liked to attend, but the concert had started at 8 PM, and, with Shabbat/Sabbath ending so late at this time of year, I wouldn’t have been able to get there on time from where I live. She replied, “Oh, I forgot you’re frummer than I am.”

Did I mention that this particular friend is a former Jewish-day-school Jewish-studies teacher, and was our son’s Jewish-studies tutor for several years when he was in junior high and high school? Truth to tell, I was a bit floored by her statement. It would never have occurred to me that I might be “frummer” (more observant) than such a person.

Incident # 2:

We went to the home of a very old friend of ours for the first seder. I noticed that, when she was leading the prayers that follow Hallel after dinner, she was reading rather haltingly, with the occasion error, as if she didn’t know the words that well.

Did I mention that this particular friend is much better educated Jewishly than I, and was my role model for many years?


I told my husband that, of late, I find that I’m becoming more observant than friends who are much more knowledgeable than I am. (You might say that they’re quoting Talmud and I’m quoting tefillah [prayer]). It’s an odd sensation.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised. After all, toward the end of my membership in my former synagogue (dual-affiliated Reconstructionist/Conservative), I was among the few congregants who prayed using the Birnbaum siddur (an Orthodox prayer book). I was also, to the best of my recollection, the only congregant who pointed out kashrut problems in the synagogue kitchen to our rabbi, and the one who proposed to my fellow and sister Ritual Committee members that the synagogue hire a mashgiach/kashrut supervisor (a suggestion that was roundly ignored.)

I think one of the things that attracts me to the Modern Orthodox community is the sense that I wouldn’t be quite so “out there” (conspicuous, unusual, whatever) in my observance. It’s a bit awkward, explaining to the folks at Ansche Chesed that, while I’ll trust their kashrut (“kosherness,” for lack of a better translation) in their own homes, I hold synagogue kitchens to a higher standard, and won’t eat “potluck” food in any shul unless the food is packaged (with a hechsher/symbol indicating that it’s kosher), not homemade. (See here. I think that a synagogue of any denomination should keep a kitchen kosher enough that any Jew—or, at least, any Jew not so right-wing that he/she wouldn’t set foot in a non-Orthodox shul—would feel comfortable enough with the kashrut level to eat there.) As for my current local synagogue, it’s awkward, being one of the few congregants I know there who prays three times a day. I find myself in the rather strange position of being both one of the most religiously-radical members of my local synagogue and one of the most observant, particularly among congregants in the 50-70 age range (see my “Little House on the Prairie” family of posts).

I do have one Conservative friend who observes taharat hamishpachah/family purity laws and "tovels"/ritually cleans her new dishes. (She's the only Conservative non-rabbi or non-rebbitzen/rabbanit/rabbi's wife whom I know who observes either law.) But I’m more observant, in some ways, if not all, than many, if not most, Conservative Jewish friends of mine, even the better-educated and/or more studious ones. Still, I’m not yet as strict or as consistent in my observance as Orthodox Jews are. So where do I fit in the Jewish community, anyway?

If there's no buy-back, may we eat our sold chametz?

I originally posted this question in the comments to my own post here, but I think it's a sufficiently serious question to warrant its own post.

Shira Salamone said...
I heard of a situation in which a rabbi who had acted as agent for the sale of chametz somehow never got around to buying it back. (His congregants didn't find out about this until years later.) Is the sale halachically valid if the agent fails to buy back the chametz?
Sun Apr 27, 11:36:00 PM 2008

In my am-haaretzdik/Jewishly-undereducated opinion, this is a classic case of a michshol (stumbling block) placed before the "blind" (a person who might not know better). We trust those through whose agency we sell our chametz to buy it back as soon as possible so that it becomes permissible for our consumption and/or other use. If they don't do so, does that cause us to sin unknowingly?

My response to Jack's "30-Something Grandmothers"

See here.

I have my not-so-humble opinions about the current state of affairs including affairs among the very young that result in childbirth: I think it's child neglect for a baby to be raised by a parent under the age of 18. If that makes me politically incorrect, so be it. In my opinion, the whole point of child welfare laws should be to protect children, not their parents. A person who's too young to be able to raise a child properly shouldn't be allowed to raise one. We don't let 15-year-olds drive, vote, or drink. Why should we let them raise children?

The cynic speaks: Why does the law allow children to raise children? Answer: Money. If the government (local, state/provincial, and/or national) takes custody of a child, the government is financially responsible for that child. Insisting that all children born to parents under the age of 18 be turned over to the government to be raised in an orphanage and/or by foster parents until, one would hope, adoption, would cost Joe and/or Jane Taxpayer a fortune. We leave the responsibility to the parent(s) because we refuse to pay for it ourselves--even though it's innocent kids who suffer the consequences.

Yaaleh V'Yavo: A prayer that moves, literally

I would happily give credit b'shem chazzani, in the name of my cantor, but I don't dare name him lest I risk losing what's left of my anonymity. So let me just tell you the story:

Why, I asked him, does the Yaaleh V’Yavo prayer, which we recite on Shalosh R’galim/Pilgrimage Festivals, Chol HaMoed (intermediate days of Shalosh R’galim, when some work activities are permitted), and Rosh Chodesh (roughly. the first day of a month) appear in different places in the Amidah prayer in different services? On Rosh Chodesh and during Chol HaMoed, it appears in the brachah/blessing that ends “ha-machazir sh’chinato l’Tzion (. . . who restores His Presence/Spirit to Zion”), but on the non-working days of the Shalosh R’galim, it appears in the brachah that ends “m’kadesh [haShabbat v’] Yisrael v’ha-z’manim (. . . who sanctifies [the Sabbath and] Israel [meaning the descendants of the Patriarch Isaac/Israel] and the seasons).

My chazzan said that, during the first and last days (the non-working days) of the Shalosh R’galim, Yaalev V'Yavo is an integral part of the prayers specific to those days, and therefore, is included in the blessing that’s specific to those days. It is not, however, an integral part of the petitionary brachot recited only on weekdays (from chonen ha-daat [roughly, thanks for giving us knowledge) through sh’ma koleinu [“hear our voice”]), and so it had to be placed in a brachah that comes after sh’ma koleinu.

Ah-hah! Thanks, Cantor!

So that’s why I have to be so careful not to forget to say Yaaleh V'Yavo on Rosh Chodesh and Chol HaMoed—since I learned the Amidah for the Shalosh R’galim first, I literally don’t expect to find Yaaleh V'Yavo in the place in the Amidah in which it’s recited on Rosh Chodesh and Chol HaMoed! The only trick I’ve found is that, when I get to the beginning of the brachah that starts “r’tzei” and ends “ha-machazir sh’chinato l’Tzion,” I must literally cover the end of the brachah with my hand so that I don’t accidentally skip Yaaleh V’Yavo, which is in the middle.

(Link>)"Dagwood" sandwich generation: Re longevity

I have a shiva call to pay--a friend's grandparent just passed away. The grandparent was over 100 years old. My friend was responsible for both his/her grandparents and her/his parents, and still has a child in school.

No one talks about the drawbacks of increasing longevity, do they? What are we going to do as more and more people live to such an age that some adult children find themselves taking care of not two, but three generations at the same time?

Sefirat HaOmer: Why no brachah during the day?

This is my understanding of how one counts the Omer, according to halachah/Jewish religious law:

One is supposed to do Sefirat HaOmer, the Counting of the Omer, at night. (Sefirat HaOmer appears before Aleinu in the Arvit/Maariv/Evening Service). However, if one forgets to count the Omer at night, one is permitted to count it at any time before sundown the next day. But those who do the count during the day are supposed to count without making the brachah/blessing first. They are permitted to recite the brachah the next time they count at night, provided that they haven't forgotten to count, by night or day, any day of the Omer--once one misses a day's count, one must continue counting without making the blessing.

Question: Why is one not supposed to say the brachah if one does Sefirat HaOmer during the day? Is one not still fulfilling the mitzvah?


My rabbi said that, while one may fulfill the mitzvah during the day, the count is really supposed to be done at night, and that's why one doesn't say the brachah when counting during the day.

Any other opinions, explanations, etc?

Chol HaMoed Pesach posts, 2008 (see photos!)

Here's a little something in honor of Chag HaAviv, the Festival of Spring.

• Chag weekend wrap-up, home-from-hospital edition
• Rabbi Mark Greenspan's "Haggadah Hobby"
• Recommended: OU's Sefirah HaOmer reminder e-mails
• Surprising areas of strength
• Kashrut color war
• My computer has been resuscitated
• Here's a gardening mystery (photo-illustrated poem)
  
• Flowers where? Greeley Square (photo-illustrated poem, or poem describing photos)
• "*She's* your daughter?!!!"
  

Reminder: Friday [until sundown] is the fifth day of the Omer.

*She's* your daughter?!!!"

One of the fine folks I hang out with at Tamar's Thursday night Israeli folk dance session at the JCC in Manhattan is a friendly soul and a bit of a kook, which makes her just my kind. (Why else would I have married a punster?) She's also a hard-core folk dancer. She goes folk dancing when her foot hurts, when her back hurts, when she's exhausted from work. She even goes folk dancing when she has other things to do.

"I gave up my daughter's concert tonight for this. She's playing at Joe's Pub in the Village."

"What does she play?"

"She's a singer."

"Oh, neat."

"She's also [plays a couple chords of "air guitar"]."

"Oh, so she's a singer and a guitarist."

"Yeah, she also plays the oud."

"Neat!"

"You know her. Pharoah's Daughter."

"She's your daughter?!!!"

So lemme get this straight--I've been hanging out for something like a year with Basya Schechter's mother?!

She's threatening to stop coming to Tamar's session because they do too many couples dances, which she's not crazy about. I certainly hope she doesn't carry out her threat, because we enjoy each other's senses of humor.

In between dances, I tell her, "My son's a physicist, your daughter's a singer. We folk dancers really know how to pop 'em out."

She cracks up.

Flowers where? Greeley Square

Cars zoom by without a care


People eat their lunch out there



Flowers and shades make quite a pair



Statues sit and nobly stare


Avian guardians watch from air


Looking north to Herald Square

Here's a gardening mystery

Why is a daffodil always turned toward me?
Is it possible for a seed to fall
in such a way that a flower grows facing a wall?
Or is flower power solar-run?
Can a flower live only if it faces the sun?

My computer has been resuscitated

Yesterday afternoon, my husband the hero brought in a computer repair person, who rescued my desktop from the trash heap. My floppy drive is now officially kaput, and only my husband can figure out how to get either my CDR drive or my DVD drive to work, but I'm grateful for large favors.

I was less than pleased to discover, however, that some of the files that I thought I'd backed up on the external hard drive were nowhere to be found. :( I ended up using the list of the files I'd saved on the Punster's old laptop as a guide, copying the original e-mailed versions directly onto the desktop. I'm going to have to be more scrupulous about checking to ensure that files that I think I've saved on the external hard drive have actually been saved. But for the time being, all's well, or as well as possible with a nearly-five-year-old computer.

And now for the fun: While the cat was away, this mouse did play--I uploaded a bunch of photos to my office computer (there being no storage space to speak of on my husband's old laptop) yesterday morning while the boss was out for Chol HaMoed, and set up some posts. Shira's Shots, comin' right up.

Kashrut color war

For those not acquainted with the concept of a "color war," see here.

My mother, bless her, did it backwards—she waited 'til all of us kids had grown and flown, and then she went kosher! I wasn't surprised that she'd decided to go kosher at home, but I was shocked that she decided to go kosher "out," as well—I couldn't believe that she'd actually given up eating lobster, her favorite food, a major sacrifice for the Jewish cause. At this point, she hasn't eaten lobster or non-kosher meat in about 30 years. But since she’d waited until after the kids were out of the barn, I wasn’t terribly well acquainted with the habit of keeping a kitchen kosher.

So, many moons ago, when our son was born, I insisted that we go kosher the rest of the way, so to speak—that is, with separate dishes, pots, etc. I figured that it would be easier for our son to keep kosher as an adult, should he choose to do so (we hope), if he'd been raised with a kosher kitchen.

Here’s where the fun starts: I chose a patriotic-American color code for our newly-kashered kitchen: red for meat/fleishig/b’sari, white for milk/dairy/chalavi, and blue for pareve (or parve—pick your spelling)/b’li chalav o basar /containing neither dairy nor meat. Now, some twenty years later, along comes a company from New Jersey* and starts producing and/or packaging whole sets of color-coded kitchen utensils, sponges, etc. Unfortunately for us, their color code is red, blue for dairy, and green for parve! So I'm having fun trying to keep even just plain kosher, much less kosher for Passover, getting thoroughly confused by a blue parve towel, from the old days, combined with green parve sponges, potholders, even a green-handled knife. Eek! This is going to take some getting used to. And if you think we have it bad, what’s going to happen the next time our son comes for a visit?! Double eek!


*Update--here's the info:

Mark-It International Inc.
P.O. Box 114
Deal, NJ 07723

Phone: 732-728-0050

(No URL on package.

For those not aware of this, Deal, New Jersey has a significant Syrian Jewish population.)

Surprising areas of strength

Picture this, if you can imagine it: One of my co-workers is telling me that her landlord sold her chametz, and I'm telling her, in no uncertain terms, that, no matter where her chametz is stored, if her landlord didn't pay for it, he doesn't own it, and is not authorized to sell it unless she specifically makes him her agent for the sale! I, a Conservative Jew who never went to yeshiva a day in her life, am arguing a major point of halachah (Jewish religious law) with an Orthodox yeshiva graduate who has a Bachelor of Hebrew Letters degree! My husband agrees with me, by the way. How can anyone legally sell anything that doesn't legally belong to them unless the owner authorizes the sale? If I'm wrong, please let me know. [Update: I e-mailed the link to this post to the folks on my e-mail contacts "G-d Squad" list--rabbis and rabbinical students--as well as to the lawyers in my e-mail contacts list. Thanks to rabbinical-student Steg for posting the first comment.]

More weirdness: I've noticed recently that people whose Hebrew I expect to be better than mine make mistakes in liturgical Hebrew that I myself don't make. I've heard people tripping over the psalms and prayers in the part of the Haggadah that comes after the meal, saying "bashar" instead of "basar" in Ashrei (mostly Psalm 145, with a few additions at the beginning and end), "im habanim s'meichah" instead of "eim habanim s'meichah" in Psalm 113 (the first psalm in Hallel), "alei ashor" instead of "alei asor" in Mizmor Shir l'Yom HaShabbat (Psalm 92). Some of these people got a better Hebrew education that I did; some are even yeshivah grads; some have been my role models for decades! The only explanation I can come up with is that my recent round of Ulpan Hebrew studies combined with roughly a year of davvening three times every day (well, almost every day) has improved my ability to read Hebrew text that's included in the various services, though not my ability to read a Hebrew text that I don't already know.

Recommended: OU's Sefirat HaOmer reminder e-mails

The Orthodox Union will happily e-mail you a reminder every day of Sefirat HaOmer telling you what number you should count. Sign up here or here. Last year, with the help of the OU's reminder e-mails, I didn't miss a single day of the count!

In the meantime, here's a homemade reminder: Today [until sundown] is the third day of the Omer.

Rabbi Mark Greenspan's "Haggadah Hobby"

In the comments to my siyum post, I mentioned that the rabbi of an old friend with whom we usually celebrate one seder has a practice of presenting the results of his study of a haggadah as the study text for his synagogue's siyum bechorim. Here's his story, courtesy of the New York City Jewish Week.

Remember: Today [until sundown] is the third day of the Omer.

Chag weekend wrap-up, home-from-hospital edition

Inadmissable

The Punster had thought that he might be admitted for kidney-stone-removal surgery, but was tossed out of the hospital for being too healthy. Until he passes that stone, my husband's health will be a bit unpredictable, but, aside from his Saturday Afternoon Fever, you should pardon the expression (see comments to linked post), so far, so good.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch house . . .

Having lost a good few hours of Pesach prep to the Punster's kidney stone attack, we're still finding items of debatable Pesach kashrut status around the apartment and tossing them into a closet. (Thank goodness for the prayer nullifying any chametz that got missed!) This morning, I finally realized that I'd never put away the household-cleaning bucket. Yep, that's what I said. I may not be particularly good at recycling, but I do try to protect the environment by minimizing my use of polluting household cleaners, so I prefer to use hydrogen peroxide (kills germs and is biodegrable), baking soda, and cheap white vinegar. Guess what, folks? White vinegar is made from grain. Am I the only person in the world whose bathroom-cleaning sponge is chametz?

A Shabbat picnic at the Salamone-Punster Palace

My husband has dubbed it the "hot box."

That's what our apartment feels like on the Shalosh R'galim/Pilgrimage Festivals, when one is permitted to cook only on a pre-lit stove. We have absolutely no cross-ventilation in our apartment, so, with the urn, hot tray (or "blech" with one burner turned on under it, for Pesach), at least two stove burners, and, if necessary, the oven left on for two days straight, the place gets unbearably hot, even with the air conditioners likewise left on.

Therefore, in the interest of not roasting ourselves along with the shank bone, and given that we would be at the home of friends for the first seder and at the synagogue for the second, we decided to have a picnic--i.e., cold--dinner on Erev Shabbat/Sabbath Eve/Friday night. That way, we could make do with just one burner left on for heating water for tea on Sunday and Monday.

I hope that all of you managed to keep your cool :) last weekend, and will do so again next weekend.

Seder One

My girlfriend's new husband (yay!) may never have experienced a seder quite like this one. It doesn't happen every year, but some years, my good friend ends up with not only my husband and me, but also another couple, whom she and we have known for over two decades, at the same seder. Every seder, we really get into great conversations about the maggid (the part of the seder in which one discusses most directly the exodus from Egypt), but that's even truer when we're all together at the same seder. My girlfriend said, of her new husband, "We'll bring him up to speed." :) No doubt.

Seder Two (for Galut Jew)

We had a good crew at our table at our congregational seder. This made up, to a large extent, for the overly-salty food and for the rabbi, in desperate need of reliable readers, getting one poor man to read all three pages of Arami Oved Avi.

Missing-members Monday

Ten. That's exactly what we